IMWT Power Rankings: Week 6

10.) Laotian Humminas (17-47-4, 5th East)

Last Week: 10 (2-9-1 Fighting Moles)

It was another rough week for Falvey on the scoreboard.. When you hit four home runs and two of them are from Yadi Molina, something has gone very wrong. But let’s not talk about the bad, let’s the trade Falvey pulled off after a week in hibernation.

FALV traded Jacob deGrom, NYM SP to MARV
FALV traded George Springer, Hou OF to MARV
MARV traded Justin Upton, Det OF to FALV
MARV traded Josh Donaldson*, Tor 3B to FALV
MARV traded Tanner Roark, Wsh SP to FALV
MARV traded Michael Pineda, NYY SP to FALV
MARV traded Lance Lynn, StL SP to FALV
FALV dropped Jon Gray*, Col SP to Waivers
FALV dropped Drew Smyly*, Sea SP to Waivers
FALV dropped Derek Holland, CWS SP to Waivers
FALV dropped Todd Frazier, CWS 3B to Waivers

Initially, it looks a lot like O’Hara heard I was asking about Springer and then went out of his way to get him. We’ve seen more star power, but this is no doubt a loaded exchange.

Falvey gets the best player in Donaldson, hah and Justin Upton isn’t a shabby sidepiece to plug into your outfield. Then it’s Tanner Roark, Michael Pineda and Lance Lynn to fill out the rest.

I heard from a credible source that this deal was about ready to close and then Falvey was able to get Lance Lynn thrown in last minute. Beautiful. Near perfect trade for a team needed a recharge. My only question, why drop Todd Frazier instead of say, Wade Miley? Value, value, value..

I did get Falv for Kershaw in 2015 however, no one has successfully executed more blockbusters. All hail the king of trades.

9.) Team Sabermetrics (39-32-1, 3rd West)

Last Week: 3 (L 2-10 Donald Trumboners)

Be humble, Marve. I’ll eat crow when it’s my time. I thought I had the matchups last week to get under Purdleball in ERA and WHIP but after two “dirty” wins by relievers early on in the week and a perfect Lance McCullers start, not even sabermetrics could save me from a good whoopin.

When I drafted Arrieta, I envisioned a three-headed machine with Scherzer and Darvish. That hasn’t been the case so far. Arrieta has been hit hard. Strikeouts are there, but I’m going to need more if I’m going to remain a top three staff.

Still, a lot of slow starts from the bats. The peripherals point to better times ahead. But if I lose 1-11, 2-10 one more time I will throw up. Very doubtful I stay down long.

8.) Wintanamo Clay (28-39-5, 4th East)

Last Week: 7 (L 5-7 Marvin’s Room)

Sorry, Pete. I wanted to move you up, I did. You’ve been right on the edge, just feels like if it isn’t one thing going wrong, it’s something else. I think if Marve put 15 runs, 6 dingers, and 18 RBI’s on me on the Sabbath, I might denounce my faith.

The offense looks just fine. Kinsler is an underrated bat to have back in the lineup. It’s the pitching that needs looked at. After Kershaw it gets a little treacherous. The strikeout rate is a concern now.  I think it’s important for a contender to have the guns to gear up when the situation calls for firepower.

Witchger has a few solid trade pieces on his roster, and I know he’s antsy to jump into the fray. Kershaw has to feel like a hot potato right now.

This week comes a matchup with the one inning and out, Purdleball Revolution. Sick the dogs on him, Pete. I’m sure nothing weird can happen.

7.) Cubs Mascot Dong (32-35-5, 3rd East)

Last week: 4 (L 3-9 Dobis)

Well Bobby, didn’t expect to us down here. Better now though than Week 21 right?

I was admittingly a little high on Dong last week. The pitching staff is a mess. This might be the first time in the last two years that CMD has a real achilles heel. Kluber will come back eventually, until then we have to wonder if Bob will look around the league for some pitching help.

Have to commend the Bobfather on his commissioning this week. Really blossoming into the Adam Silver to Hilger’s Goodell. Although I do believe 15 innings of Purdleball is bad for the league.

Farrell Bowl this week. Tiebreaker is decided on the Pickleball court.

6.) Yelich da Posey (31-36-5, 5th West)

Last Week: 9 (W 9-3 Orbit’s Woody)

Heyy Timmy, how about don’t drop players other teams still value, huh? Don’t need to get mad about it, that’s business 101. Should have saved that move for a big trade.

It’s good to see Yelich da Posey still has the capability to put together a juggernaught week. Buster Posey, Mike Trout and the one and only Yonder Alonso lit it up, combining for 10 home runs. The launch angle revolution can make a power hitter out of anyone!

When Archer and Cueto pitch like aces, this is a different team. We were reminded last week what happens when Yelich da Posey makes contact and gets dominance from its top arms.

Contenders are making moves. Tom needs an upper tier starter. Let’s see if he can pull it off with me now motivated to cry bullshit on any transaction, however small or fair. The veto is alive baby!!!!

Tarrell v Barrell this week.

5.) The Fighting Moles (31-29-2, 4th West)

Last Week: 6 (W 9-2-1 Humminas)

If you didn’t buy Moles stock two weeks ago, you may have missed your window to get in low. Last week’s win makes it two in a row, and three of the last four.

Uncle Brent is showing his prowess. Even without a true ace, the Moles had a spectacular pitching week. I’m skeptical how long that success can last though, you just have to look at strikeouts to see where an ace is missed. It feels like if you looked at this staff for too long, you would wake up in an MRI machine.

You can’t measure his heart.. but you can measure his balls!! Big time test this week against a Sabermetrics team coming off a down week.

4.) Dobis PR (36-31-5, 4th West)

Last Week: 5 (W 9-3 Cubs Mascot Dong)

So here we have a team that is dead last in home runs and first in strikeouts by a wide margin. A smart manager realizes their surplus and makes a deal to address up their deficits.

Pete did exactly that, a one for one move to address a need… it’s just a shame Tarrell didn’t approve! Lesson learned.

Dobis has leaned out his staff in an attempt to increase run production. There is a lot of young talent on this roster, most noticeably in the outfield, that should round into form as the season goes on.

Don’t look now but Dansby has changed up his approach, he’s walking more and feeling veryy comfortable against lefties. Talent usually wins out.

Humminas next up.

3.) Donald Trumboners (36-34-2, 2nd East)

Last Week: 8 (W 10-2 Sabermetrics)

60 Runs, 14 bombs, 57 RBI’s, 9 Steals, a .322 average and a .944 OPS… Finally, Purdleball in all it’s majesty.

When you get a new rule implemented to slow you down, a la Shaq, you’re going to get a bigly bump in the rankings.

I can only blame myself for Purdleball. I should have seen this coming. Not wanting to believe injuries could trim the Trumboners down to 20 innings of one inning baseball was my downfall.

Everyone’s ERA’s and WHIP’s are inflated this year, all Purdle has to do is pitch one good inning and that’s three categories in the bag. Again, I can’t believe I didn’t notice the absence of an innings minimum.

Last week was excellent, those are numbers that can win this league. Haha yes I guess we’re here, it only took six weeks for Purdle to go from pariah to Purdle-in-Chief, with Tom doing his best Jeff Sessions interpretation.

My advice: Don’t stoop down to Purdleball. Throw your guys, take the categories given to you. The WHIP won’t stay under 1.00 every week unless Steve starts sitting McCullers now that the “no innings minimum” has been aired out.

Britton and Chapman are hurting, it’s not time to be afraid of Purdleball yet. But it is time to take notice. Everyone has had big offensive weeks, let’s see if the Trumboners can maintain this momentum.

2.) Orbit’s Woody (40-28-4, 1st East)

Last Week: 1 ( L 3-9 Yelich da Posey)

Well, Masahiro Tanaka had to come in and go Hiroshima on Kevin’s WHIP and ERA.

Five home runs doesn’t make for a fun week either but once again, that batting average is  going to cover up for bad weeks. The addition of Jake Lamb should help hold up the OPS while Jose Altuve, Elvis Andrus and the rest of hard contact crew do their job.

Unquestionably the best team in this division. If only O’Hara carried himself with Bower’s grace. PPV showdown with Marvin’s Room up next.

1.) Marvin’s Room (43-24-4, 1st West)

Last Week: 2 (W 7-5 Wintanamo Clay)

If Springer is in the lineup, I have no doubt we would have witnessed the most prodigious Sunday performance since the days when Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire walked the Earth. And so it was, Marvin’s Room hasn’t lost a matchup since early April. Joffrey is king.

Last week showed O’Hara isn’t going to sit back and enjoy first place either. Word got around that I was hunting Springer and Marve, to his credit, pulled the trigger.

At great cost mind you, a mega corner bat is gone.. a lot is going to be on Bregman to produce.. but in six shorts weeks, Marve has built himself a thoroughbred.

I love the Degrom add as well. If the Mets don’t run him into the ground, we’re looking at a team with heavy strikeout aspirations.

This roster is very good (I’m sorry I failed you, Michael Conforto), and that is why it’s so confusing to me why Marve would go out of his way to attack a minor trade. I would imagine if he were in my shoes, he wouldn’t be happy either to have a one for one canceled with no explanation other than jealous greed.

And then to stand by the veto and tell me.. me of all people… to sit down and shut up, knowing it was bullshit… I don’t think that plays much better if the shoe was on the other foot, if that is  a thing people say.

You’ve done very well this year Marve, I can say with confidence that I have always been respectful of your potential as a contender.. that said, if you ever tell me to sit down and shut up again, especially over something you know is bullshit, dont expect me to respect you as a man just cause you buttercreme. Give respect, get respect. Feel? Feel.

The division leaders meet this week in what is the premiere matchup of the year, thus far. Can’t wait.

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