*Playoff probabilities have no statistical basis
10.) Dobis PR (98-106-12, 4th West)
Last Week: 9 (L 3-8-1 Fighting Moles)
Dobis PR is under audit and the verdict is not nice. 13-45-1 over the last five weeks… A free fall from contention frighteningly reminiscent to last year’s collapse.
Technically Dobis is not out of it, spiritually, baseball’s most important measure, they are. I have close sources telling me Dobis PR is looking to position themselves for 2018.
There are absolutely pieces on this team that could help a contender, it’s just a matter of price. Expect some serious flirting between Dobis and the front office’s of several title hopefuls. A late deal could swing some fortunes.
Playoff Probability: 12%
9) Sleeping Monkey’s (90-114-12, 5th West)
Last Week: 8 (L 3-8-1 Yels Bells)
These rankings aren’t fair. The rules aren’t fair. Keepers aren’t fair. Draft picks aren’t fair. Your trades aren’t fair. The LM isn’t fair. Hillary isn’t fair. Nothing is fair, and Hizer is a cheater.
When you consider all of those factors, it’s really not Tom’s fault that he is 40+ games under .500 over the past two years.
The Sleeping Monkey’s play Marvin’s Room this week which presumably will end in a fair tie.
Playoff Probability: 😂
8.) Laotian HumminaHumminas (79-126-11, 5th East)
Last Week: 10 (W 6-4-2 Cubs Mascot Dong)
For the first time all season, the Humminas are riding a two week winning streak. Last week’s 6-4-2 victory over Cubs Mascot Dong was enough to all but stamp the life out of Boris’ playoff hopes.
Falvey is another owner moving pieces for a brighter 2018. Don’t be surprised if the Humminas pry another keeper away with an overwhelming offer. In the meantime, Laos’ flagship franchise and Josh Donaldson continue to rape and pillage playoff dreams.
It’s the Trumboners that the Humminas can put down this week.
Playoff Probability: 2018
7.) Cubs Mascot Dong (92-110-14, 4th East)
Last Week: 7 (L 4-6-2 Laotian Humminas)
The honorable Bobfather probably made his last gasp of the 2017 season last week. With the top teams securing decisive wins, CMD couldn’t afford to fall back any more games.
I respect the hell out of CMD for going all in. I had hope until the very end, the bats just didn’t come through.
Even on playoff life support, Boris remains dangerous. Orbit’s Woody is out of the gate with a decent lead but it is early. I suspect this isn’t the last we’ve heard from Cubs Mascot Dong.
Playoff Probability: 5%
6.) Trumboners (102-105-9, 3rd East)
Last Week: 5 (L 5-7 Orbit’s Woody)
Some how, some way, the Trumboners are still in it. Unfortunately, without starters, this team isn’t built for a big move up the standings.
Stuck in between Purdleball and streaming, the Trumboners became their own worst enemy.
Credit to Purdle for being the Christopher Columbus of hoarding closers. Shame on Purdle for not following through.
Down but not out, the Trumboners play the red hot Humminas this week with their playoff life on the line.
Playoff Probability: 18%
5.) Marvin’s Room (118-85-13, 1st West)
Last Week: 2 (L 4-8 Sabermetrics)
(Photos submitted by Timothy Farrell)
Back and forth we went all week. Every home run I hit, matched by Marve.. Many times just minutes later. I knew I was going to need help Sunday. To address that need, I made a trade offer Saturday night that was accepted early Sunday morning. Falvey and myself made it clear to the group that this was a trade with the consent and intention to go through by 1pm. Bob Okay’d it. The league, you Marve, had more than 5 hours to raise a protest, to get it voted down. You did not. Time to put the big boy pants on and accept your L.
Marvin’s Room takes a tumble in the rankings because they are 20-27-1 over the last month. And when you take out an 11-1 win over the Humminas with Madison Bumgarner wasting away on the DL, Marvin’s Room hasn’t won a decision by more than a 6-5-1 margin since Week 10.
So even though Marvin’s Room is in prime playoff position, there are definite concerns here. Trea Turner’s impending return brings with it hope for a resurgence.
Marve must find away to accept his loss so he can get back to the matter at hand – Securing the West division. The Moles have caught all the way up.
Marvin’s Room and fellow sore loser The Sleeping Monkeys are in the way this week.
Playoff Probability: 93%
4.) Yels Bells (105-98-13, 2nd East)
Last Week: 5 (W 8-3-1 Sleeping Monkeys)
Yels Bells played their best in a matchup they needed badly. It seems Cody Bellinger is the gift that keeps on giving.
The league’s fun dad is putting together a run no one could have seen coming after starting the season losing 10 of their first 13 matchups. This is the underdog, feel good story of the year.
But I don’t think Peter is ready to settle for a moral victory here. Yels Bells is just 3.5 games back of Orbit’s Woody for the division and 6 games from running Sabermetrics down for the 4th seed.
If Yels’ can find a way past the Fighting Moles this week, the schedule could be favorable for a dream ending. Go Wasky go.
Playoff Probability: 42%
3.) Orbit’s Woody (108-94-14, 1st East)
Last Week: 3 (W 7-5 Donald J Trumboners)
Playoff Probability: 68%
Orbit’s Woody held serve last week with a 7-5 win over the Trumboners. Off to another strong start this week against CMD, Bower is the heavy favorite to hold off Witchger and take the division.
In a week that could change. Remember, Woody still has to shake off last year’s elimination in Week 21.
They’re off to a good start this week in the second week of a home and home with Cubs Mascot Dong.
2.) Team Sabermetrics (113-96-7, 3rd West)
Last Week: 4 (W 8-4 Marvin’s Room)
My last two weeks and the beginning of this week are the culmination of my efforts to assemble a team that can defend my title. I thought orchestrating a trade Saturday night was masterful, I should have expected the veto crew wouldn’t feel the same. Just because it’s the first time for something, doesn’t make it cheating.
Work still to do but if Correa comes back on schedule, Sabermetrics is going to be a tough handle in a two week playoff format.
Dobis PR up this week with 13 bombs already on the board.
Playoff Probability: 71%
1.) The Fighting Moles (118-89-9, 2nd West)
Last Week: 1 (W 8-3-1 Dobis PR)
I’ll just keep saying it. Right now, The Fighting Moles are the team to beat.
Years of patience has paid off with Giancarlo Stanton. There hasn’t been a hotter hitter in 100 years. Sportscenter is now just reruns of Stanton blasting baseballs into that god forsaken Marlins figurine.
The Moles were able to breath a slight sigh of relief that Bryce Harper escaped any structural damage. The replay looked bad. Diesel can only hope by some miracle Harper makes it back for the playoffs. When you lump in Bryce with Paxton and Price’s issues, it makes you have to wonder if injuries will eventually catch up with the Moles.
The top seed is now in play for The Fighting Moles, but Yels Bells is playing like a team fighting for their playoff life. Regardless of this week’s outcome, Uncle looks poised to take the Fighting Moles on another run at the title.
Playoff Probability: 89%