Ohtani Taco Yel – Sleeping Monks
THE COLLUSION BREAKDOWN
IMWT’s election of a false champion
On August 28 last season, 4 days before the playoffs start, this trade is accepted and upheld:
I don’t typically judge trades but come on, this is awful. Sure, Berrios has nice value as a later round arm. But he isn’t even a top 20 pitcher. Stephen Strasburg is. Miles Mikolas was last year. And Justin Turner hit .356 in the 2nd half… Considering the league just melted down over a Vlad Guerrero Jr-Jose Abreu trade the week before, surely the trade police will have something to say, right?
Tom makes a horribly lopsided trade for Jose Berrios, a player he had already traded to Witchger earlier in the season, and he does it to help Witchger win in the playoffs. He says it himself, right there in the group chat.
Bob upholds the trade and sends it through.
The very next day, August 29, 3 days before the playoffs start, we get notified that another trade has been accepted.
Top options in average, power, steals and saves all for an injured unkeepable Corey Seager, Corey Dickerson and two future undrafted free agents.
Clearly this trade is a joke. It’s an affront to a league that’s been around since 2014. And it’s the 2nd trade in two days between Witchger and Tom.
Another element in all this that becomes increasingly relevant – at this time Taco Yel, barring a miracle, is all but locked in to play Sabermetrics first round of the playoffs.
THE WORST TRADE SINCE HUXHOLD AND THE LEAGUE IS SILENT
As league voted assistant commissioner, that night I texted Bob on the side and said something along the lines of look, I never veto trades but this is textbook collusion. We can’t let this go through, it sets a terrible precedent.
– Bob to be frank, didn’t think it mattered if that abomination went through 3 days before the playoffs. “The league will veto if it’s unfair”….
– At this point in the season Purdle hadn’t responded in days and most of the noncontenders could care less. I let Bob know his negligence is going to compromise another season and when logic doesn’t get across, at the very end of the night I send all my players to Dobis in a fake trade to symbolize the complete collapse of the IMWT.
– August 30: The next morning, Bob comes to his senses somewhat and takes down Witchger and Tom’s trade. I cancel my roster purge as well, which supposedly leads Bob to revoke my commissioner powers. Taking charge!
Here’s the response to Bob’s veto:
– The most openly vindictive trade in league history, days before the playoffs, proposed by Witchger and accepted by Tom.
– Tom is absolutely livid for some reason and Peter doesn’t seem to understand what’s wrong with trading 9 players, only one of those having an ADP better than the 23rd round for nearly all of Tom’s best players, 3 days before the playoffs…
Sabermetrics ends up dropping the last week 2-10 and it flips the matchups so Witchger faces Marvin’s Room in the first round.
Justin Turner, Stephen Strasburg and Miles Mikolas dominate in the playoffs. Turner puts up a .900+ OPS and scores 19 runs, while Strasburg and Mikolas combine for 50+ innings and a sub 2.50 ERA.
If you say they didn’t matter you are wrong.
– Ohtani Taco beats Marvin’s Room to face Sabermetrics.
– By now, nearly whole league is behind Witchger, even changing the group name from “IMWT” to “Go Wasky”.
– Sabermetrics gets out to a massive lead before the first weekend, up 20 runs, 15 HRs, 20 RBI’s at one point. Most people had called the matchup already.
– All of Witchger’s fans couldn’t stand it. At one point everyone except Gerard left the group chat.
But Tarrell wasn’t going to give up that easily.
– At the beginning of the playoffs I asked Bob to lock rosters. He refused. This led to Falvey dropping an injured but near a return Josh Donaldson in the first round, and Sabermetrics adding him off waivers. Falvey didn’t do this to intentionally help anyone and Donaldson was around 35% owned only scheduled to play every few games.
Tom, who’s season is long over, actually gives Witchger the league’s top closer in a championship matchup heavily dependent on saves, a category that’s often decided by 1 or 2.
– After work that day, when he knows Diaz is securely on Witchger’s team, Tom Facetimes me to brag about what he’s done.
-Why the fuck is this happening in the championship??
– Let’s see the group reaction:
What kind of psychopath goes this far to fuck with a fantasy baseball outcome?
WHY IS A TEAM THAT ISN’T IN THE PLAYOFFS ALLOWED TO INTENTIONALLY DROP PLAYERS DURING THE CHAMPIONSHIP?
Why didn’t anyone else say anything?
What if that shit happened to you and the kid doing it openly mocked you afterwards? Would you be cool about it?
After holding a large lead in saves the entire matchup, Edwin Diaz contributed to a 3 save Saturday night for Witchger on the last weekend. With saves no longer out of reach, Peter was able to add a closer Sunday and tie the category at 7, making it 6-5-1 Taco Yel.
Justin Turner would score 8 runs in the championship, 3 in the last two days. Witchger took runs on the final day 92>90.
Strasburg and Mikolas contributed 4 quality starts in the championship. Quality Starts was decided 6>4 in favor of Witchger.
Is this what the league wants?
You can get mad because you don’t understand what 35 innings per matchup means, you can get mad that I flipped a generational prospect for Jose Abreu in a keeper league, but I never cheated. I played matchups and had an incredible month streaming bats. The league turned its back on fair competition and instead elected a false champion.
If Witchger had won with his own team it would have been an awesome story. Instead, I will not be recognizing Ohtani Taco Yel as a legitimate winner in this league. I hope this year we grow up and stop making decisions with the intent to make our friends miserable.